True feelings
by catseye 3
Summary: Adirian discusses his feelings for Sharona with Dr. Kroger
1. Default Chapter

Title: True feelings Author: catseye Summery:Adrian discusses his feelings about Sharona with Dr. Kroger Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Spoilers:none  
  
"Tell me how I'm supposed to feel about her"! Adrian Monk cried out. He shifted and fidgeted in his chair as his psychiatrist Dr. Kroger sighed "I cant tell you how to feel about Sharona . You tell me how you feel." Adrian stared at his shoes. What difference does it make anyway. I have no right to be thinking about any other women besides Trudy. I can't be disloyal to her. I should'nt be thinking about this . " Dr Kroger leaned forward in his chair. We've discussed this before. It has been five years. Many people who have lost a spouse do date again." Adrian stared out The window." I don't  
H e got up from his chair and began pacing back and forth across the carpet. "Besides if I try to tell her my feelings I don't know she'll react. She's so unpredictable .One week she acts like I'm her best friend and the next week she's threatening to walk out on me. Dr Kroger nodded towards the chair "Sit back down and we'll talk about this. Adrian Complied and sat back settled back down in the chair. "And She's always flirting with every attractive smooth talker she meets. Last week we on a case I was trying to question a suspect and I think she was trying ti get a date with him. In fact she's always dating men who are all wrong for. She knows she can do better Maybe she needs a couple sessions with you."  
Dr. Kroger laughed and said " How does it make you feel when you see her with these other men . You sound a little jealous. "No I'm not answered Adrian , staring at his hands. She's just a friend_ an employee. . But he other day I had a sudden urge to reach out and touch her hair. I bet it is so soft and really smells nice. Sharona always smells so nice. She's so pretty too . I like the way she takes care of me. I like how happy she gets when we solve a case . And I like how she makes me feel. Dr Kroger nodded.."Do you think it bothers you when she flirts and dates other men because you have feelings for her? That's what you're supposed to tell me.' Adrian answered.  
  
Dr. Kroger replied " I think if you didn't have some kind of feelings for Sharona you would't care who she dated. . Adrian looked at the doctor. But what if I tell her I feel and she just laughs at me? I'm not the type she usually goes for." Dr. Kroger stood up. "Sometimes you just have to take a chance. Our time is up . Think about what I said. Oh and don't forget to arrange that monthly payment plan we talked about.. Talk to my secretary on the way out. " Adrian walked out the office , past the secretary and into the lobby where Sharona was waiting.. Can we go out for coffee and talk? 


	2. chapter 2

Chapter 2  
"You are paying aren't you?" Sharona demanded to know as she and Monk entered the little coffee and bagel shop across the street from the medical building "After all, you're the one who invited me."  
"Don't worry about it, I've got it covered." Adrian assured her as they walked up to the counter.  
"Well I hope so." Sharona replied and turned to the clerk " A mocha cappuccino and a cinnamon bagel please."  
Adrian ordered black coffee and a plain bagel and then pulled out his wallet. He handed the $9.72 exactly so as not to receive any "dirty " change. As thet walked to a small table in the back looked at him and asked "So what did you want to talk to me about?"  
"What do you mean?" Adrian asked with an innocent tone as he began spreading napkins over his half of the table.  
  
Sharona blew on her cappuccino to cool it off " You said you wanted to talk to me about something."  
  
Adrian began stirring his coffee " Oh yes that's right I did. Uh how's that man you were seeing a few weeks ago- the one with the red Miata convertible?"  
"Oh , him." Sharona answered. "We already broke up. Turns out the car wasn't even his. Just a company car that he borrowed. He wasn't even the vice president of anything, just a salesman trainee. Can you believe it ? Why do I always attract these losers?"  
Adrian began cutting his bagel into identical small pieces. "I don't know why you keep dating men that either." A women like you could do much better."  
Sharona put down her cup."I would like to find somebody to share my life with." I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. Not like some people I know. I need someone in my life . Someone real. I'd like to hook up with a nice guy but it's hard to find one out there who wants a thirtysomething girl with a kid.  
  
Adrian looked up from his cup" I don't know why you can't find someone . You're an attractive, caring women. You're easy to talk to Any man would be lucky to have, If I ever thought about dating again someday it could be with a women like you. Could you ever consider somebody like me?'  
  
Sharona almost choked a bite of bagel and took a sip from her cup. " Why that's one of the nicest things you've ever said to me. "I like you to. You're intelligent . You're not bad looking.You're honest and you know how to treat a lady. But then there's that bet I have with Gail.  
Adrian raised his brows."What bet?'  
"Oh just a silly little bet we made a few years ago. Which ever one finds a guy first, the right guy , one we can stick with, gets a $1000. Why do you think we're so competitive about men all the time? Not that I have $1000 to give her.If she ever wins she'd make me pay up that's for sure.".  
"Well then you'll just have to win that bet. Adrian smiled as they headed out the door."Maybe sooner than you think." 


	3. chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
Later that evening Sharona stood at her bathroom mirror brushing out her long blond curls. She stared at her face as she removed her makeup and frowned. "Sure, with the makeup and the pushup bra I can still pass for twenty five. Yea. Right. I can still kid myself and maybe a date for a while. The right man is out there somewhere." She pulled off her clothes and slipped into the tub of hot water. " It's not just the bet either.". The dream was slipping further away. She wasn't sure anymore whose dream it really was. Mom had always told her and Gail their entire lives that someday the perfect man would come along . he would be good looking and have money. There would be a big house, a nice car, and everything would be wonderful. Sharona sighed. . The dream may never happen. In ten years Benjy would be grown and gone and she would be alone. Suddenly there was a pounding at the door that jerked her back to reality. "Mom- hey mom" Benjy yelled through the bathroom door  
  
."Benjy! God kid what is it? " I just remembered. I said you'd bake cookies for the end of school party tomorrow. I need a least three dozen." Sharona steeped out of the tub and reached for the towel. "How long have you known about this? She yelled back as she slipped into her sweats. "Couple weeks I guess. Sorry I forgot mom.'" "It's okay. But you've got to help me with them she smiled to her son as they walked into the kitchen. In the meantime in another apartment not far away Adrian Monk had just finished his shower. He buttened his pajamas, neatly folded his laundry and put it in the hamper.As he scrubbed the bathtub he began thinking of list of things to do tomorrow. Buy more Lysol. Pick up his new shirts {they were a special order] and take them to the cleaners Get the CD player fixed. One of his CD's skipped last night. Maybe Sharona could come by early . He dried the tub and went into the kitchen to fix some tea.. Adrian remembered when they first met. He hadn't left his apartment in months. Most of the people who had promised at the funeral to help if he ever needed anything had stopped coming by or calling. He spent more and more of his time sitting in his chair staring out the window. That morning when Captain Stottelmeyer stopped by on his way to work he wasn't alone. A pretty blonds woman in a tight nurse's uniform was with him. "Monk" the captain announced. " This is Ms. Fleming.She's going to be helping you out for awhile. I gotta go . I've got a new detective reporting in this morning. Deacon or Disher or Disher or something like that. '. Stottlemeyer hurried back to his car . The nurse smiled and came in to the apartment. "Hi" She smiled. "You can call me Sharona. She stepped towards him and shook his hand. Adrian screamed and ran down the hall to the bathroom, locking himself in. Two hours when he finally emerged. She was still there. And surprisingly the next day she came back. No matter what she always came back.. He could always depend on that.. She was his friend and his assistant. However, Trudy had been his wife and marriage is forever.  
Around dawn when Adrian was half asleep or so he thought he dreamed of Trudy. He dreamt of her often but this time it seemed different. She seemed more solid, more real than before . She also seemed to have a sadness about her he had never seen before. "Adrian' she said calmly."You've got to let me go now. I can"t move on until you let me. I can't stay here with you forever.Adrian opened his eyes, looked towards her and spoke. "But you can't just leave. I'll be alone. Then what will happen to me?" 'But you're not alone.There is someone who cares about you even if she has time admitting it sometimes. Don't worry. We'll see each other again someday. Goodbye. Adrian ', she whispered as she faded away.  
In the mean time in another apartment Sharona Fleming woke up startled. In a dream a blond women she only recognized from her pictures and suddenly appeared beside her bed.. Bending over, she whispered. "Please take care of my Adrian. I'm counting on you.. Then she disappeared again. Sharona got up, went to the kitchen, and put on a pot of coffee. As she sat at the table munching one of the cookies she and Benjy had baked last night. She wondered what the dream had meant. Maybe it wasn't her fate to meet and marry the perfect guy. Maybe would someday and maybe she would'. In the meantime she had her son . And she had Adrian. And maybe for now that might just be enough. Your children are yours forever, and sometimes your friends are forever. And sometimes friendship can lead to something more. 


	4. chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
Sharona was still in a distracted state a few hors later as she drove Benjy to school. Why would she dream about Trudy? It wasn't as if she had ever met her or really even thought about her that much. "Mom"! Benjy suddenly yelled "you just missed the turn to the school"!"  
"Sorry". She said as she turned the Volvo around. She pulled up to the curb . Benjy grabbed his tub of cookies and began sliding out the door. "Bye"! his mother called out. "And lose my Tupperware this time. I can't afford to replace it! As she pulled away she wondered to her self whether she should Adrian about her dream. "No" she decided, "It would just upset him, better just forget it." As she drove on to his house.  
Adrian paced the kitchen as he waited for Sharona to come. He'd already had breakfast, a bagel and an apple, and cleaned the kitchen . He couldn't stop thinking his dream . He dreamed about Trudy often but this time it was different. This time he woke up feeling alone and empty and couldn't shake off the feeling that something had changed. He sat down and thought about it some more. He couldn't decide whether or not to tell Sharona about it. Would she understand? Or would she even care? He thought it would be best just forget it and talk to Dr Kroger about it in his next session. A few minutes later Sharona knocked on the door. As he let her in she greeted him with 'What's new?"  
"Nothing, nothing at all " Adrian replied as they walked into the living room. "No new case or anything, just some errands we have to do today, Anything new with you today?  
"No, nothing" she replied, as she checked her hair in the mirror, just another day".  
Later that morning in the car between the grocery and the drycleaners ,as they rode in silence, Sharona sighed, "Are you sure nothing's bothering you today? You haven't hardly said a word to me all morning, Did something happen I should know about?" Adrian looked out the window silently. "Aren't you going to say anything" she continued. "Watch out" he screamed as a smaller sports car ran through a red light and sped right towards them!  
Sharona slammed on the brakes and jerked the wheel towards the curb. She managed to avoid the other car in front of her but not the lamppost to her left. As the car finally skidded to a stop the impact caused her knee to hit the steering wheel. As she caught her breath she turned and gasped. Monk was still sitting limp in his seat with his forehead against the dashboard and blood beginning to trickle down his face. "She grabbed him by the shoulder and shook him. "Are you alright?" she screamed. Adrian moaned, opened his eyes and looked at her. "Maybe next time I should drive."  
A short while later they sat in the back of the ambulance after the paramedic had finished with them. The watched the Volvo being towed away with it's crumpled fender and dangling bumper. They watched the driver of the other car being led away claiming that he had been on important business call on his cell phone and he didn't mean for anything to happen. Sharona held an ice bag on her knee. Adrian touched the large bandage on his forehead and kept trying to smooth it down. "You know;" She said in a low voice, "You really had me scared for a second. I don't ever want to lose you." She reached out and put her arm across his shoulder. He looked over at and her and smiled. "Don't worry. I'll always be here."  
It was a few months later when Sharona called up her sister Gail. "You remember that bet we made about finding the right guy? Well get ready to pay up!" 


End file.
